Lifestyle Changes Are in Order

I am tired. I do not understand why they run the Olympics coverage so late. Don't people besides me have to work in the morning? Of course, I'm not saying that it's not my own fault that I watched the Olympics after having spent six and a half hours driving on the highway.

I went home to Virginia this weekend and thought I was being awfully clever by "breaking up" the driving so that I never had to do the 10-hour drive to Fredericksburg all in one go. What I didn't realize was that I was actually setting up my long weekend so that I had to drive at least four hours on each day of my trip. It was like being on tour, only without any of the fun of performing.

Luckily, the trip went well, and I had a good time with my family, as well as accomplishing my goal of finishing up with the wedding photographer. Steph is doing very well and looks very much as she did before her illness, which makes me very happy. Now I can banish the scary hospital mental image to the archives for good! She is still very tired most of the time, but she is getting better each day. She and Dad invited my mom and my godparents over for dinner on Saturday night, which tired her out a good bit, but it was a really nice evening. Everyone got their final orders in for wedding photos, and Mom gave me some money for my birthday, which I promptly spent on the biggest, nicest, most leatheriest wedding album my photographer had. Hey, it's the only wedding-related expense that will last forever! Might as well get something grand.

On Sunday I drove to Floyd to visit l_bee, Tom, and Ollie. Tom's father was also there, and I heard Tom telling him that l_bee spends roughly a third of her day feeding the baby. This estimate includes nursing, pumping, washing bottles, and filling-heating-serving bottles. From what I've seen, I would not call that statement an exaggeration. Figure that roughly one fourth of a 24-hour day is spent sleeping, and you can get a pretty good idea of how much free time my sister has these days. She says preparing for life with a newborn and knowing what's coming is really not the same thing as living it. Luckily, Ollie is cute and worth it, and he's getting cuter. He's starting to look around and to lift his own head up a little (a very little, but still; l_bee is impatient for progress and "ready for him to start doing stuff," so all indications of growth and development are welcome and celebrated). To me, it seems like ages ago that Ollie was born, and it's hard to remember that he's not even three months old yet, and a preemie at that. The cutest thing I got to see for myself was that he sucked his thumb for the first time! He was hungry and started to fuss and wave his little arms around, and his thumb went into his mouth, almost by accident, and he started sucking on it. That was funny. I think my favorite thing about watching Ollie is how much he looks like Tom. It's something about his facial expressions. l_bee says he's not quite smiling yet but that you can tell it's going to be a Tom smile.

It's always strange and fascinating to watch my sister do something I haven't done. It's even more interesting to watch her go through something I don't think I'll ever do myself. I've been really quite a bit freaked out, to be honest, at the speed with which society at large has begun to assume that droid18 and I will be having children soon. I didn't realize it would start just a couple of months into our marriage. It's not pressure, exactly, or expectation, just assumption, but that almost makes it more sinister; I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to wake up one morning and suddenly find myself with a baby because that's just the way things are and I have no choice in the matter. Now, I know that's ridiculous and crazy. But sometimes it feels like I bought a ticket to Miami Beach and have suddenly realized that the train I'm on is actually headed to Cleveland. It's the kind of feeling I get when I'm in an uncomfortable situation that I know I could have avoided by paying closer attention. Like I should have just taken the car, double-checked the schedule, bought a map. droid18's sudden and unexpected lust for a home of his/our own is not helping matters. Neither is the season.

If you're wondering why you're not being treated to the funny, interesting posts of yore, this is why. I am a goddamn mess! I still love you guys, though. I miss hanging out with my friends. Maybe I will make an effort to actually be social at some point this week. Maybe not, though. I really am very tired.

I'm glad February is almost over. I'm also very tempted to order pizza tonight. Nothing is more fun than gorging on pizza while sitting on the couch, watching the winter Olympics. The American teams perform amazing feats of grace and athleticism so that I don't have to, and I'm grateful for that. However, the weekend was not the best I could have had, Weight Watchers-wise, so I think I'd best skip the pizza. cartertracy says she gets inspired by working out while watching the Olympics, so maybe I'll try that. I don't have a treadmill or an exercise bike, but I could do butt crunches or something. We'll see.